One Thing To Lose During Advent

The Last THing I Want During Advent (1)

I have felt introverted lately. At least in my on-line presence.

I don’t want to post on social media much and don’t want to blog much. And I couldn’t put it into words until someone in my writing group shared this quote recently:

“Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him. For it doesn’t stop at being interested in paint, you know. They sink lower—become interested in their own personalities and then in nothing but their own reputations.” -C.S. Lewis

Oh, the wisdom there. So beautiful.

What I am longing for, in this season of Advent, is less self. Less of me. I’m frankly tired of self-promotion and building a platform and honing my message. Because anything of value I have to say isn’t mine at all, but simply a reflection of Divine Truth.

My kingdom is not coming. His is.

We have been sporadically doing Advent readings with our kids this season. We have a ways to go. Every night we still have to pose the question, “What is the name of the season we’re in?” Met with blank stares.

Followed by my cheesy hints—the opposite of subtract (Add) and the white grate thing on the wall (vent)—and my husband’s long-suffering glances, knowing I’ve tried the same thing three nights already and it hasn’t caught on yet.

And then we move on to what it means: “Israelites?” “Jesus?” “Christmas?” are some typical responses.

“Come, on guys. Can’t you just remember the opposite of going?”

Coming. Advent means coming.

As baby Wheeler lays on his back and scoots across the floor like an inchworm, third child mouths that she wants to sit on my lap, first child tries to answer every question perfectly and second child is trying hard to sit still and failing, I feel at peace.

This is what we’re supposed to be doing during Advent. Seeking the meaning, the wonder of our God.

In all of our craziness, we come. 

Just as we are, we come.

Because he came.

The last thing I want to do during Advent is find a spotlight to shine on me. It’s not about us purporting a perfect image to the world. It is not about us at all.

It is time to sit out of the spotlight, to just be. It is time to loosen our obsession with the products of our creation, whether they be physical (our art, our children, our bodies, our work), or emotional (our anger, our self-abasement, our reputations) or spiritual (our pride, our guilt, our control).

It is time to lose ourselves and to sit at the throne of the King who came….and is coming again.