On Love and Leaving: Moving Away…Again


Photo Credit: Tara Fletcher Photography

By the way…this is stream of consciousness writing. It’s not great, I didn’t really edit and I am o.k. with it. But I guess not o.k. not to say anything. I haven’t gotten to blog in several weeks and just wanted to let you all know what’s going on! XO

So…we’re moving again.


Yep. We just closed this February on our beautiful, all brick depression-era charmer on a tree-lined in walking distance to my favorite coffee shop.

I know I just showed you the home tour and all the renovations. And our kids were slated to get college paid for by residing in the Kalamazoo Promise district. We weren’t planning to move for a long, long time.

Well, sometimes man’s ways aren’t God’s ways.

Here’s how it went down in a nutshell:

Husband: “Hey Heids, I saw an interesting job. I think I want to apply. You ok with that?”

Me: “Oh yeah? Where?”

Husband: “Well, that’s the thing. It’s in Wisconsin. In a suburb of Milwaukee.”

Me: “What? Um…random. I guess…go for it and see what happens.”

Well, long story short: He really liked the firm, he got a job offer, we went to Wisconsin together to check it out and surprise, we liked it! We deliberated, prayed, weighed the pros and cons. It was a really, really hard decision. Our life here is full. We have enjoyed living by family. There were so many reasons not to go.

But with prayer and council of wise friends that it became clear; we’re supposed to go.

  • Even though we’re leaving the love and support of living near my husband’s bro, sis and parents.
  • Even though I have a great job with flexibility.
  • Even though we just moved.
  • Even though our kids will be uprooted again.
  • Even though people are going to have lots of labels for us.

It would be really nice if life meant you got to live by all the people you loved…forever. And cousins got to play on Little League teams together and you went through the ups and downs of being a church family with the same church family and you recognized folks wherever you went because you’d lived in that town so long.

It would be nice if we always knew what the future held. And you could promise your friends that you’d be there to see their kids grow up and you could meet for coffee to chat about marriage and feeling fat and what God’s teaching you…for infinity.

It would be nice if the earth felt like home. If there wasn’t always a gnawing, a longing for things to be…settled. No future uncertainties. No good-byes. No wrestling over decisions. No starting over in a new community with just a handful of connections.

But…this isn’t heaven and we never know what God has planned for us on this earth. For some, it’s to stay right in the same house they’ve lived in since the day they were born. For some, it’s to move every few years. For others, He’s just going to keep them on their toes and let them know on a need to know basis.

But, it’s all good. Stability is good. Change is good. Whatever God is calling you or me to is good. Because He’s got a plan, and He works it to his glory.

So, yes, we’re moving for a job.

But the way He has opened every single door in this situations speaks to the fact that there is more in store there than a position at a company.

God sold our house to friends, by owner, in a couple of days. And He sold their house in a couple of days to someone else. And He provided a rental home for us, and has worked out countless scheduling, financial and logistical details I won’t bore you with here.

But I have to hold on to the knowledge that we feel called to go and that this is His timing, because I hate leaving behind the people I love. It’s a bitter pill to swallow so many times, especially in the last few years.

In my bitter, there is sweet. Every time I have moved somewhere new, I see it..eventually. Exactly what God had in mind when He provided this place. When I meet the friends I wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t have left. When I learn the new things He wants to teach or stir up in me.

This longing for everyone I love to be together and to never have to leave them, it’s evidence of eternity written on my heart. To be in relationship without good-bye.

So, to the ones that I love and who I’m leaving, thank you. You’ve left an imprint on my heart, one that I’m taking with me into the great frontier of Mequon, Wisconsin.

To the ones I will get to know, I’m excited to meet you; I wonder what God will teach me through you.

Moving is painful. Loving and leaving is painful. But nothing is more painful than not listening to the whisper of God.

So here we go.


  1. Glad you’re moving back closer to Chicago 😉

  2. Lauren McMillen says:

    Hi Heidi, I just read your blog and I totally get it (I am going through something similar right now myself). I would love to meet you! I live in Cedarburg, am friends with the Jeskos, and attend Crossroads. In fact, some of my best friends used to live in your rental and I have spent many comfortable hours there! Plus, I LOVE chai tea lattes (I am not a coffee drinker myself, and I really have to limit myself to a couple of chais per week). My kids are older than yours, so we may not cross paths through sports or school, but if you are willing to meet someone new, then maybe we could go to Starbucks or Fiddleheads with Michelle. (Brent can vouch for us if this seems a little creepy to you…ha! ha!). As long as I am praying for Crossroads’ new pastor’s wife and kids, I will pray for your family as well. Welcome!